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Talking with Angels [Kindle Edition]
Gitta Mallasz (Author)
4.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
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Book Description
Publication Date: December 14, 2011
Budaliget 1943: A small village on the edge of Budapest. Three young women and a man, artists and close friends are gathered together in the uneasy days before Hitler’s armies would destroy the world as they knew it. Seeking spiritual knowledge, and anticipating the horrors of Nazi-occupied Hungary, they met regularly to discuss how to find their own inner paths to enlightenment.
One June afternoon, the meeting is disrupted when Hanna calls out, "Be careful, it is no longer I who speak!" Her friends do not recognize her voice now or later, when she speaks in other voices, each directing a specific message to one of the four.
For 17 months, with the world locked in a deadly struggle for survival, the four friends meet every week with the spiritual beings they come to call their "angels"; Gitta Mallasz takes notes, the protocols which form this book, along with her commentary. The angels’ message of personal responsibility is as meaningful and as urgent today as it was for its initial recipients half a century ago.
I am deeply touched by the dialogues with the angels. - Yehudi Menuhin
I could read it over and over again and never get tired of it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this book with me. - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I feel as though the message of the angels were especially intended for me.
It places me in touch with Truth and enables me to hear the call more clearly.
The angels teach me how to view the world through the inner smile. - Narciso YepesShow More
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"I am very happy to have encountered this book. I am deeply touched by the dialogues with the angels." Yehudi Menuhin - "I could read it over and over again and never get tired of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
About the Author
Gitta Mallaz was born in 1907 in Austria. She moved at the age 15 to Budapest where she gained fame as a champion swimmer. She went on to study art and subsequently pursued a career as a successful graphic artist. In 1960 after years of silence, the story of this extraordinary encounter was finally published.
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Product Details
File Size: 1100 KB
Print Length: 474 pages
Publisher: Daimon; 4th Edition edition (December 14, 2011)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
Language: English
ASIN: B006MHM73S
Text-to-Speech: Enabled
X-Ray: Not Enabled
Lending: Enabled
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #333,030 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews
5 star134 star03 star02 star11 star014 reviews4.8 out of 5 stars
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
A wise book meant for those capable of deep reflection November 4, 2000
By Dolores Vinson
Format:PaperbackThis is not a how to book. The angels in this book answer many deep and compelling questions. Questions humans have been asking for a long time. It was a hard book to come by and now that amazon has it everyone can find what the soul seeks answers to. Be patient read the whole book then read it again. I have many times and each time I gain a little more understanding of each angels message and why they are so important to us. These angels are not confined to religious dogma they are not catholic jewish baptist they are the angels who share what they know to guide us, and help us understand the reason we are here and what we are to accomplish. I will keep this book with me always in heart and mind. Gitta said she did not write it I believe her the angels did.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Views of our world from a very different pespective September 26, 1997
By hrudolph@iname.com
Format:HardcoverRevelations and insights on this world commented on by beings from another dimension. I found the material speaks for itself. As I read it noticed of how it holds together and offers a totally new perspective on life here without being dogmatic or rigid in any way. It offers a loving perspective of life. Based on the experiences of real people around the end of the second World War.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
In praise of Talking with Angels August 22, 2005
By vitesha
Format:PaperbackThis book is 1 of the better ones about angels. Situated in the dark times in Hungary of 1943/1944 is brings the message of the New World with is slowly happening now.
A very inspiring book that one reads slowly and over and over again, and always one finds something new.
A related book with described what happened in the concentrationcamp where the 2 Jewish women are deported is "Prisons on Wheels"
Also is there a theatre-play about Gitta Mallasz the scribe of the book "Talking with Angels"
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
Truth Distilled
Anything worth doing or learning takes effort and time. Such is the case when reading this book. In its pages, Divine truths are taught by higher beings who speak in poetical... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Amy O. Davis Illuminating, Important
This is an amazing book and is essential to anyone who is serious about their spiritual journey. Indeed, pick it up, read a few pages, and you will be drawn into and along with the... Read more
Published 15 months ago by E. Craig A Luminous, Nourishing Feast for the Soul
I first read Talking with Angels in the 70's. To pick it up and read, even if only a few lines or pages at a time, is like drinking living light... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Ann R. Shannon Divine Guidance, then and now
This amazing book is exactly as the title indicates...it is dialogues between three young people and an Angelic Presence, the Angels speaking through a highly spiritual and attuned... Read more
Published 20 months ago by Peggy Magilen * * * * * * * This review now has 7 stars!
I have read it, re-read it...
I keep reading it, everyday's reading is a different reading.
Everyday, the beauty of its writing is more radiant. Read more
Published 21 months ago by FreGa A precious gem
Just a correction: this book is not the result of "automatic writing". Gitta was literally the scribe for the group--the words themselves were spoken by Hanna who functioned as... Read more
Published 22 months ago by alivi Two Books, Really, So Two Reviews
This book is really a 2-for-1. I found one very inspiring, 5 stars, the other a one-star gumbo of New Age cliches. Read more
Published on June 4, 2010 by Masha TALKING WITH ANGELS
TALKING WITH ANGELS IS A MAGNIFICENT REAL STORY ABOUT ANGELS COMING TO TALK TO A GROUP OF YOUNG ARTIST IN BUDAPEST, IN 1943, IN THE HIGHT OF WORLD WAR II. Read more
Published on September 11, 2009 by Jacklyn Lewicki TALKING WITH ANGELS
An amazing story. If you are interested in the metaphysical, in angels, in faith, read this. Quite beautiful.
Published on June 24, 2009 by Jeanne Morris The real thing
This is an extraordinary book - and very much the real thing. The context of the rapid rise of Nazism in Hungary, and their imminent persecution, gives these dialogues all the more... Read more
Published on April 24, 2009 by Ms. H. Stephenson Search Customer Reviews
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Book sectionsCover
Beginning
Search Inside This Book
Just so you know...
TALKING WITH ANGELS
This book consists of protocols and notes describing actual events which took place in Hungary during the years 1943 and 1944.
TALKING
WITH
ANGELS
A document from Hungary
transcribed by Gitta Mallasz
English rendition
by Robert Hinshaw
assisted by Gitta Mallasz
and Lela Fischli
DAIMON
VERLAG
With heartfelt thanks to all who have been so helpful along the way.
Talking with Angels,
a document from Hungary transcribed by Gitta Mallasz,
English rendition by Robert Hinshaw,
assisted by Gitta Mallasz and Lela Fischli.
For a list of other-language editions of Talking with Angels
please see the last page of this book.
Cover: for an explanation of the front cover sketch,
see the 85th Dialogue.
ISBN 978-3-85630-704-2
Fourth English-language edition, 2006.
Copyright © 1988, 1992, 1998, 2006, 2011 by Daimon Verlag,
Am Klosterplatz, CH-8840 Einsiedeln, Switzerland
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the publisher.
Contents
A Technical Note
Preface
Introduction by Gitta
PART I THE DIALOGUES IN BUDALIGET
1. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
2. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
3. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
3. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
4. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
4. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
5. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
6. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
6. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
7. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
7. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
8. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
8. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
9. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
9. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
10. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
11. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
11. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
12. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
12. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
13. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
13. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
14. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
14. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
15. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
15. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
16. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
16. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
17. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
17. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
18. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
18. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
19. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
19. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
20. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
20. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
21. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
21. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
22. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
22. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
23. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
23. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
24. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
24. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
25. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
25. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
26. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
26. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
27. DIALOGUE WITH LILI. Fragment.
28. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
28. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
29. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
29. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
30. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
30. DIALOGUE WITH JOSEPH
30. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
31. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
31. DIALOGUE WITH HANNA’S ANGEL
31. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
32. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
32. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
33. DIALOGUE WITH HANNA’S ANGEL
33. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
33. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
34. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
34. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
34. DIALOGUE WITH JOSEPH
35. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
35. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
36. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
DIALOGUE WITH ‘THE ONE WHO MEASURES’
36. DIALOGUE WITH JOSEPH
36. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
36. DIALOGUE WITH LILI (continued)
37. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
37. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
37. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
38. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
38. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
39. LAST PERSONAL DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
39. DIALOGUE: ‘THE ONE WHO MEASURES’
39. LAST PERSONAL DIALOGUE WITH LILI
39. LAST PERSONAL DIALOGUE WITH JOSEPH
40. DIALOGUE: SONG OF THE CHORUS
40. DIALOGUE: MESSAGE FOR LILI
PART II DIALOGUES IN BUDAPEST
41. DIALOGUE: ‘the one who measures’
42. DIALOGUE: GOOD FRIDAY
43. DIALOGUE: EASTER SUNDAY
44. DIALOGUE
46. DIALOGUE
47. DIALOGUE
48. DIALOGUE
49. DIALOGUE
50. DIALOGUE
51. DIALOGUE
52. DIALOGUE
53. DIALOGUE – three days before Pentecost
54. DIALOGUE – on the Sunday of Pentecost
55. DIALOGUE
56. DIALOGUE
57. DIALOGUE
58. DIALOGUE
59. DIALOGUE
60. DIALOGUE FRAGMENT
61. DIALOGUE
62. DIALOGUE
63. DIALOGUE (morning)
64. DIALOGUE
FRAGMENT
65. DIALOGUE
FRAGMENT
66. DIALOGUE
67. DIALOGUE FRAGMENT
68. DIALOGUE
69. DIALOGUE FRAGMENT
70. DIALOGUE
71. DIALOGUE
72. DIALOGUE FRAGMENT
73. DIALOGUE
74. DIALOGUE
75. DIALOGUE
76. DIALOGUE – Feast of the Archangel Michaël
77. DIALOGUE – Feastday of the Guardian Angels
78. DIALOGUE
79. DIALOGUE
80. DIALOGUE
81. DIALOGUE
82. DIALOGUE – Morning
83. DIALOGUE
84. DIALOGUE
85. DIALOGUE
86. DIALOGUE
87. DIALOGUE
88. DIALOGUE
A Technical Note
The dialogues comprising this book have been transcribed from handwritten notes in the Hungarian language by Gitta and Lili during the actual events, as dated. Many of the original dialogue notes (including all of Joseph’s and the personal notes of Lili) were subsequently lost, and some dialogues were incompletely recorded (as indicated). Many of the accompanying explanatory texts in italics were added immediately after a dialogue, while others were added during the preparation of this text.
It is hoped that the rather unusual mode of notation employed in this edition will help to convey at least an approximate impression of the experiential quality of these dialogues: certain words were pronounced with emphasis and subsequently underlined in the notes (indicated here by italics). Others had an almost palpable feeling, engraving themselves indelibly into the participants. They were designated in the notes by capitalization of the first letter, a practice retained in the present edition. The most powerful words and sentences of all are indicated by the use of all capital letters.
The word Ö is an all-encompassing Hungarian pronoun used by the angels for the Divine. This simple word has neither masculine nor feminine connotations: it is both and all. Because there is no equivalent in the English language, we have elected to retain the original word Ö here. This may seem strange at first, but it is hoped that the reader will soon adjust to it. The advantage of being able to avoid using inappropriate pronouns seems to outweigh all other considerations.
The particular intonation of Ö enabled the participants to immediately know whether The Divine or Jesus was being referred to. As a means of differentiating in this edition, we refer to the Divine with Ö, and to Jesus with ‘He,’ ‘Him,’ or ‘His.’
Preface
This English language publication of the ‘angel dialogues’ has been a long time in coming: the remarkable events documented here took place in Hungary during the late stages of the Second World War, in 1943 and 1944.
As their life situations, and gradually their very chances for survival, grew ever darker, the four close-knit friends were suddenly met by a force which came to be known to them as angels. This extraordinary encounter continued for seventeen months; Talking with Angels is the first unabridged translation of their original Hungarian protocols to be published. Three of the friends eventually perished in Nazi concentration camps, and the sole survivor, Gitta Mallasz, was obliged to remain underground with her precious documents and to concentrate on supporting her family of seven (her parents, her brother, and his wife and children), who had gone from wealth to poverty during the war. This phenomenon of radical change from one station in life to the next always accompanied Gitta. Her struggle for survival in postwar Communist Hungary was to last more than fifteen years. When the opportunity finally came for a new beginning – her parents had died and her nephews and nieces reached adulthood –, Gitta was able to make her way through the iron curtain to France with the precious black notebooks wrapped tightly in bed sheets in her one small suitcase.
In Paris in 1960, life began anew at the age of 53: Gitta reestablished her considerable reputation as a stage-set and graphic designer and she met and married Laci, a dear man who had also emigrated from Hungary. With help from him and a few close friends, she began the difficult task of translating the protocols of the dialogues into French, her third language after Hungarian and German. Through one of these friends, the existence of the dialogues was brought to the attention of a prominent French radio journalist, Claude Mettra, who, after reading them, invited Gitta to be a guest on his weekly national program, “The Living and the Gods.” That famous first 90-minute interview, broadcast live by Radio France on April 22, 1976, marked the beginning of the dialogues becoming publicly known.
Gitta had long been aware that making the dialogues accessible to all was part of her task: she understood them to be important for more than just the four original participants, but she had had no means of making them available to others. Now at last she had a forum.
Radio France was deluged with letters responding to her impressive message. Claude Mettra packed together a large bundle of them and marched over to the modest but renowned Parisian publishing house, Aubier Montaigne. Gitta’s manuscript was quickly accepted, trimmed and prepared for publication, appearing later in 1976 as Dialogues avec l’ange. Though practically unadvertised, it became an immediate sensation and was reviewed and discussed on radio and in newspapers throughout the land.
It is interesting to note that the dialogues had their first and greatest public success, and were met with such a resounding echo, in France, of all places: a land of people known for sharp intellect and skeptical rationalism. Perhaps this is because of the document’s straightforward, down-to-earth character, in contrast to so many other publications dealing with esoteric matters.
Gitta herself chose to remain in the background. After her radio appearance, she declined all of the inevitable public-speaking invitations and continued to live her normal daily life in relative anonymity. It was not only her natural modesty that kept Gitta out of the limelight: she had a strong aversion to the tendency people often have of attributing their hopes, fears and admiration to her personally, to their wanting to make her into a kind of ‘guru.’ She was convinced that the real message is for each reader to find an own personal relationship to the words of the document, to experience it themselves. This is also the reason why photographs of Gitta and the other participants are not published with the dialogues.
In 1973, Gitta and her husband retired from Paris to a small farmhouse which they themselves restored in the Dordogne region of the French countryside. Laci built all of the furniture by hand from local materials. Far from the city and close to nature again, as in her childhood, Gitta continued to live a simple life, to respond to the many letters concerning Dialogues avec l’ange over the years and, to her greatest joy, to devote her energies to working on foreign language editions of the dialogues.
In 1983, her quiet life in retirement ended when she received a speaking invitation she had never anticipated: the C.G. Jung Institute of Zürich asked her to talk with its students about her experience with the angels. Having been deeply impressed during the arduous years in Budapest after the war by Jung’s writings, and later greatly comforted by his descriptions of dialogues with his inner guide, Philemon, in his biography,[1] Gitta felt that she could not say ‘no’ to this invitation. She made the long train journey to Zürich and spent 2 lively evenings, first describing and then discussing her experience of the dialogues with a full house of fascinated listeners.
The tremendous resonance in Zürich convinced Gitta that it might, after all, be appropriate for her to reveal more of her personal experiences in connection with the dialogues, along with the actual protocols, and in the ensueing years, she made extensive speaking tours and conducted workshops throughout France, Switzerland, Holland, Germany, Austria and Belgium.
Further, Gitta came to feel that it was appropriate to put her energies to work forming the often personal material of her correspondence with readers, and later, of her speaking encounters, into a book. The result was Die Engel erlebt (roughly: “the angels experienced”), originally published late in 1983 in German and French (translations have followed). A second book, Weltenmorgen (roughly: “dawning world”), followed by Sprung ins Unbekannte (“Leap into the Unknown”) continued Gitta’s ever more personal response to the many questions addressed to her in the time since the dialogues’ first publication.
Work on this English-language edition of the dialogues began in 1984. A shortened English edition had been published in 1979 in a limited printing. Then it was decided to go back to the beginning and carefully work with Gitta, word by word, on the basis of the original handwritten Hungarian texts to create a complete transcript of the dialogues in English. This was to prove a laborious and time-consuming process, but a very rewarding one. Hanna conveyed from her inner ear to the Hungarian language and now this translation takes the dialogues one step further into English.
In numerous sessions in Willerzell, Einsiedeln and Gitta’s Girardel, and with almost daily correspondence between these meetings, the new English edition slowly took form over the course of the next four years. Along the way, several fragments came to light that had been neglected or edited out of previous editions of the dialogues, and, as questions arose during the English-language formulation, explanatory notes were added.
After Gitta’s devoted husband Laci died in 1982, she continued to live alone in the little farmhouse in Girardel. Then in 1988, just as the final proofs of this book were on their way to the printer, she suffered a nearly fatal accident: her life was spared, but both arms were broken. She understood her survival to indicate that her earthly task had not yet been completed.
After her recuperation, Gitta went to live in a small cottage on a farm, close to young friends in the northeastern part of the country. Here she continued to have her all-important independent existence in her own little ‘hermitage,’ but without the at times almost total seclusion of her previous abode in the south. Her public speaking engagements became infrequent with increasing age, but she made the occasional trip by ‘TGV’ into Paris for ever larger audiences and continued to fulfil her task in a variety of angel-related projects and her far-reaching correspondence. She died in May of 1992.
What is it that makes Talking with Angels so gripping, so humanly appealing? For me, an important part of it is the naturalness with which these four ordinary young people – none of whom had ever had religious instruction – accepted the sudden appearance of ‘angels’ into their everyday existence. That this luminous and numinous event came just at the darkest hour of their lives is surely significant: it shows that possibilities for new ways and for transformation do come to us at times when there seems to be no solution – if only we are open to them!
The angels taught Gitta and her friends – and continue to teach us – that earthly existence is only a part of a whole: once we realize this, death is not something to be feared. As we become aware of the ever moving, the undogmatic – what the angels teach as Light –, we learn that not the eternally repetitive is eternal, but the eternally new. The angels tell us that the more light we are able to bear, the more aware we become and the closer we come to our ‘peak,’ the meeting point with our own angel. Our personal angel strives to descend from above and meet us at this same point. Thus, we are not alone in this endeavor, even if our way of going about it is very individual. Whatever way each of us goes through this experience is not of importance: only that we do so, each in his or her unique way. That is, for me, the essence and the inspiration of these dialogues.
Gitta frequently asserted that she was not the author of this text, but ‘merely’ the scribe. She considered it her task to make the dialogues available to others. When asked not long before her death, how she felt about the dialogues Gitta answered:
“You know, those words are like seeds that were sown by the angels. They lay dormant in the earth for 33 years. They finally broke through the hard crust of the surface for the first time in 1976 with the publication of the French Dialogues in Paris and from there, they spread like wildfire – no, like Lightfire. Now the new, the Springtime of humanity, is here – and these words represent a very real possibility for all.”
The angels said:
WHAT COULD BE MORE NATURAL
THAN OUR TALKING WITH EACH OTHER?
May this book help many new dialogues to be born …
R.H.
Willerzell, 1988, 2006
[1] Memories, Dreams, Reflections by C.G. Jung, recorded and edited by Aniela Jaffé. Pantheon, New York, 1961, pp. 182 ff.
Introduction by Gitta
As a point of departure for the events which follow, I would like first to give a brief introductory sketch:
It is important to note the ordinariness, the normality of the life led by my three friends and me up until the dialogues began. Nevertheless, this life was a preparation for what was to come.
I was sixteen years old in 1923 when I first met Hanna. We were both students at the School of Applied Arts in Budapest, where we worked at neighboring tables. From the first moment, Hanna was open and very friendly towards me, but I was the product of a military family proud of its motto: ‘Above all, be strong!’ Thus I was surprised and puzzled by Hanna’s affectionate nature. In my upbringing, any display of feelings had been considered a sign of weakness and even a simple kiss of departure was cause for embarrassment.
Hanna, whose father was an elementary school principal, grew up in the more natural atmosphere of a modern Jewish family and she was accustomed to showing her feelings spontaneously. Despite these differences in temperament and upbringing, we became close friends in the course of the next three years.
After final exams, however, our ways parted and we seldom had contact. Hanna continued her studies in Munich, while I threw myself totally and blindly into sports: swimming championships, national records and the adulation which Hungary showered upon its sports heroes fed my pride and kept me indulging in a superficial lifestyle for the next four years. It was during this period that I made the acquaintance of Lili, who was giving courses in movement therapy. Her warm and natural manner attracted great numbers of pupils and I soon realized that the reason for her overcrowded classes was that her students were experiencing something going far beyond physical relaxation: their inner essence was being nourished.
I heard little from Hanna during my sports idol days. She had married Joseph, a quiet man, who was a furniture designer by profession. His very presence had a soothing influence on his surroundings. I often observed this later when we lived together in Budaliget: in the village inn, where the townspeople had the habit of engaging in heated political quarrels, the atmosphere would inevitably calm and all would become peaceful within moments of Joseph’s arrival. This was a typical effect of his silent way of being.
When I finally had had enough of sports, I decided to seek out Hanna once more. She and Joseph had settled into a work studio in the Ilona-utca on the hills of Buda, overlooking the Danube to a gorgeous view. With great patience and understanding, Hanna helped me find my way back to artistic activity, something I had completely neglected since completing my studies. Without her accompaniment, I would never have been able to regain my joy in creative work. As it turned out, the three of us eventually founded what soon became a very successful graphic arts studio.
In the years 1934 and 1935, anti-Semitism was already widespread in Hungary. Thus, as the only non-Jew in the group, it was my role to obtain government commissions, primarily for touristic events and advertising, whereby my sports reputation and status as the daughter of a high-ranking military officer were beneficial assets. Unfortunately, I always had to hide the fact that my colleagues were Jewish.
The ‘soul’ of our professional group was undeniably Hanna. She possessed tremendous powers of concentration and intuition which enabled her to immediately grasp the essence of an artistic conception, as well as its practical realization. She had the knack of being able to solve problems with a wonderful blend of common sense, clear psychological insight and, above all, humor.
By this time, Hanna had some graphic pupils of her own and, many years later, one of these young artists, Vera, told me: “The intensity of Hanna’s teaching touched not only our professional development, but our entire being. It demanded so much of us that some students simply could not bear it and chose to leave. Hanna never critiqued a design without our feeling personally touched, even if it involved only the most trivial advertising graphics. She considered every line of a drawing to be the manifestation of an inner event. During the actual lessons, our contact with her was quite different: she would intuitively tune in to another wavelength and read our drawings like a doctor reads an X-ray, but with affection, firmness and cheerfulness.
Before beginning to speak, she sometimes had no idea of what she was going to say and was then astonished at her own words. As a young student, I was very attached to her and she became a model for me. But Hanna completely rejected this dependency on my part. She would say to us, ‘After two or three years of my teaching, you must find your own inner teacher.’ For her, the most important thing was to awaken the new being in us: ‘the creative individual, freed from fear.’”
Our studio prospered. And yet, ever more, we had the feeling that we were living on the edge of a cliff. Collective blindness was on the rise, along with a flood of organized political lies. If something were promised by the Nazis, for instance, one could be sure that just the opposite would occur. A strong desire was welling in us to find the truth – our truth – beneath so much deception. This led Joseph and Hanna to seek and ultimately find a small house not far from Budapest in the little village of Budaliget, for the purpose of starting a new and simple way of life. I soon joined them there and we worked just enough to support our daily needs. Lili joined us on the weekends.
The quiet village life was beneficial to our inner development. However, this period began for me with a growing feeling of emptiness. An inexplicable expectation of a coming something deeply disturbed me and I often went for daylong walks in the forest in search of peace. Again and again, even at mealtimes, I would catch myself looking toward the garden gate in expectation of this ‘something’ or ‘someone’ that should come and change my life. In the evenings, we would often discuss our experiences and try to discover the sources of our problems.
Hanna’s intuitive gifts were a great help, but still we all felt ourselves to be at a dead end. We were interested in the great religious currents of humanity and our bookshelves held the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita and Lao-Tse; yet none of us was practicing a religion.
We felt ourselves to be standing before a world of lies, brutality and all-pervading evil. At the same time, we were convinced that the meaning of our lives must be buried somewhere, and that the cause of our not finding it must be in ourselves.
With this in mind, we decided at one point that each of us should write down as clearly as possible our individual problems, so as to better be able to discuss them together. One day over black coffee, I read aloud what I had written to Hanna, who dryly remarked that this was nothing but the familiar old stories, warmed over yet again. It was all too true, and I was painfully aware of my blatant superficiality. I was asking Hanna questions that I could just as easily have answered myself, but it was less strenuous to have the answer simply ‘served’ to me.
At this point, the dialogues begin. They were to take place nearly every Friday afternoon at three o’clock for the following seventeen months.
PART I
THE DIALOGUES IN BUDALIGET
“Go your own way!
Any other way is straying.”
Friday, June 25, 1943
1. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
In the face of my superficial attitude, Hanna feels a tension arise which grows into indignation. And then, fully awake and with eyes open wide, she suddenly has the following vision: a strange force seizes my pages of notes, rips them to shreds and dashes them to the floor in complete disapproval of this inferior effort, so short of my capabilities. Hanna is about to say something but suddenly stops as she senses that it is no longer she herself who is about to speak. She just has time to warn me:
“It is not I who will speak to you.”
And then I hear the following words:
— Enough of your shallow questions!
It is time for you to assume responsibility for yourself!
It is Hanna’s voice that I hear, but I am absolutely certain that she is not herself speaking; her voice is serving as a kind of instrument. I have the feeling that I know whoever is addressing these stern words to me and so I am not totally overwhelmed; I rather feel that something quite natural, which had to occur, is finally taking place. I am filled with a bright light, but there is nothing joyous about it. On the contrary, it illuminates my darkest interior with merciless clarity and I am compelled to see myself without deception.
I am shown what I might well have written about myself, had I truly been self-searching and honest, and I feel deeply shaken – and guilty. In the wake of my sincere shame, Hanna senses the indignation ebbing in the one who is speaking through her.
— It is better now: repentance is also forgiving.
It is time for you to transform yourself.
BE INDEPENDENT!
You have too much and too little.
G. I do not understand …
— Too much inert matter – too little independence!
I feel that this refers to my lazy and dependent way of thinking.
— The seed is not sown on hard ground.
You will be tilled by endless searching.
What has been good will become bad.
What has been bad will become good.
A long silence ensues. It is finally broken by the following question:
— Do you know me?
These words touch me to the core. I feel with an inexplicable certainty that I do know the questioner, that it is my inner teacher and guide; but I have no memory-image to accompany this feeling. I perceive only thick layers of mist, which obscure and prevent recognition. I am unable to break through it, despite my best efforts.
— Do you know me?
This repetition penetrates me all the more. I am at the threshold of remembering and try with all my strength to illuminate the dark layers. But it is for naught. I cannot.
Hanna feels that the one who speaks through her watches me with empathy during my struggle.
— You are pagan, but that is good.
I sense that, by ‘pagan,’ my roots are meant.
— You will be baptized with the Water of Life.
You will receive a new Name.
The Name exists, but I cannot yet reveal it.
Prepare yourself for it!
You may ask a question!
I am incapable of asking even a single question. I am too filled with the growing awareness of what is happening to me.
— ‘The one who speaks’ is tired.
Give her strength!
We will meet again!
Immediately after this remarkable encounter, Hanna and I write down what we have heard. This is not difficult, for every word has engraved itself permanently into our memories. Hanna describes her experience of the event as follows: “During the entire dialogue, my perceptions were heightened. I could see the room, you, and all that was going on inside of you, with great clarity. At the same time, I was fully aware of our visitor, whose feelings were of an entirely different quality than ours. But I can describe them only in inadequate terms such as ‘indignation,’ ‘love’ or ‘tenderness.’ It was difficult to find words to express what was to be communicated through me. In one and the same moment, I was experiencing both intense anticipation and great joy.”
A single question burns in me: “And the promise of return … when – if ever – will it be fulfilled?”
Hanna answers: “Perhaps in seven days.”
In the evening, we tell Lili and Joseph about our extraordinary experience. Joseph, who had been a materialist in his youth, reacts skeptically and adopts a cautious attitude. Lili, however, very much wants to be present the following week and offers to take notes of any subsequent dialogues.
Friday, July 2, 1943
2. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
It is a difficult week: the uncertainty of my inner visitor’s return makes me uneasy. In addition, the starkly accurate image of me which had been revealed is difficult to bear. At about three o’clock on Friday afternoon, we are sitting in waitful expectation and I am painfully aware of having made no progress during the week.
Suddenly, the silence is broken by these words:
— What have you achieved? Have you learned?
I think back on the past week and, at this moment, I would like nothing better than to sink beneath the floor. Nonetheless, I feel that I have changed in some small way, and I say timidly:
G. Yes.
— For the time being, or forever?
Now I feel so worthless that I burst into tears.
— No self-pity! Are you afraid of me?
G. No.
— I, too, serve.
These words console me, and I am filled with a joyous feeling of trust: my teacher serves and this is something we have in common.
— Ask!
As a birthday present, Hanna had recently painted a portrait of me in which I sit on a mountain top holding a crystal sphere, whose facets shine in a rainbow of rich colors. The symbol of this sphere of light has great meaning for me, and I long to hear my teacher say something about it.
G. How might it be possible for me not only to understand, but also to live the symbol of the sphere?
— I have the sphere of Light with me.
I DESCEND TO YOU – YOU ASCEND TO ME.
G. How?
— Believe it, and you shall grow with this belief.
In the word ‘belief,’ I feel a living force, in no way connected with the intellectual affirmation of a religious creed.
— When the time is ripe, it will happen.
Can you bear the sphere of Light?
I answer superficially, without really understanding the question:
G. Yes.
— Are you worthy? Are you pure enough?
I hesitate:
G. You know it.
Hanna feels that the one who speaks through her
is observing me as though I were a foolish child, ignorant of what she is saying.
— Though the sphere is heavier than the earth,
the CHILD plays with it,
for it is formed of one and the same substance: LIGHT.
The word ‘CHILD’ is used in an entirely new way which I am unable to grasp. I listen as if through fog, and bluntly ask:
G. Can one play with it?
— The CHILD plays – the adult creates.
The fog thickens. I am completely confused.
G. Then am I too small for the sphere?
The piercing reply strikes me like lightning:
— Too big !
Hanna sees that my little ‘I’ is too big and dominating. But I do not understand, and ask stupidly:
G. Where am I too big?
Hanna feels indignation rise in my teacher at this lack of comprehension on my part. Although a powerful purifying gesture would have been called for, she fails to rally sufficient strength in herself to carry it out and is only able to transmit the following words:
— Be reborn!
What is big – collapses.
What is hard – disintegrates.
The gesture of burning force, which Hanna had been unable to make, would have set off this ‘collapsing’ and ‘disintegration’ inside of me, Hanna later tells me.
After a long silence, I hear the consoling words:
— You are never alone.
Friday, July 9, 1943
3. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
This week has been less difficult than the previous one, but on Friday, the obscuring inner layers of fog return. It begins to dawn on me that I have been living carelessly in this fog for 36 years without even being aware of it. But now I do at last see it, and it is a real problem.
As we chat together after coffee, Hanna suddenly hears a single word, sternly spoken:
— Enough!
It is three o’clock and I had not been ready to receive my inner teacher.
— Have you prepared yourself for the feast?
I feel so worthless that I begin to cry.
— Do not cry in my presence. There is no time for that!
Hanna feels my visitor’s indignance. Clearly it would have been more suitable to be joyful.
— Ask.
G. How might I hear your voice always … ?
— … and be a puppet !
G. I do not understand.
— THEN YOU WOULD NOT BE INDEPENDENT.
It is your task to approach me.
G. (Timidly:) May I ask a question?
— That is why I am here.
G. Should I fast on Friday?
I thought that fasting might be a means of spiritual purification.
— No. Let the proper measure of each day
be your fasting.
Pointing to Hanna:
— Give her something to drink!
Very surprised, I get Hanna a glass of water.
G. Why is it so difficult to really love my family?
— The family is flesh …
Hanna sees that my family strengthens just what is already too strong in me: matter.
— When you have rid yourself of the superfluous,
then you will be able to love.
G. Is that far off?
— THE FAR IS NEAR – THE NEAR IS FAR.
G. May I know your name?
This question comes from a desire to be able to call my teacher at any time, and thus feel secure.
— The name is still matter. Seek what is behind it!
The dark layers of fog torment me. My question is actually a desperate cry for help:
G. I am in the dark … what should I do?
— GO YOUR OWN WAY! ANY OTHER WAY IS STRAYING.
After a long silence:
— Sing for me in the forest!
I cannot believe my ears: me … sing? Having hidden my feelings behind a thick coat of armor since childhood, this strikes me as absolutely absurd.
G. I think I misheard …
Each word is now uttered with emphasis:
— SING - FOR - ME - IN - THE - FOREST !
Without being aware of it, I lean forward, and I am immediately held back by a gentle but firm gesture:
— You are too near.
I ask myself if my density is unbearable … ?
Or is the radiance of my teacher too strong for me?
G. I had a dream, but its meaning is not clear to me.
— You are a part of the way. I am a part of the way.
Ö[1] is the WAY.
The word Ö is pronounced with utter reverence. Hanna is now too tired to go on. Thus, the remainder of what she was to convey is related to me afterwards as a message:
— To will is not a step forward; it is a hindering wall.
I feel this is a reference to my overzealous, willful striving.
[1]See the Technical Note on p. 6 for an explanation of Ö.
Friday, July 9, 1943
3. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
Lili would also like to ask some questions. She takes the place opposite Hanna, who is resting, as I move over and prepare to take notes. After a brief silence, we feel a presence of warmth and gentleness.
— I am here.
You called me – I called you.
The intonation of the voice has changed
completely: now it is tender.
— You may ask!
L. When will I open myself to what is above?
— You are deceiving yourself. Deception is fear.
But you have no cause to fear.
L. What is my first task?
— Do you know your sign?
Here it is:
Gesture outlining a triangle
pointing downwards.
L. Could you explain my task in another way?
— You are named: ‘the one who helps.’
The helper should not fear.
I bring good news: you are dear to me.
Do you want to see me again?
L. Yes.
— Then you will not see me.
Do you wish to see me?
L. Yes.
— Then you will not see me.
In light of the previous dialogue, I now realize that neither will nor wish can bring our teachers closer to us. Lili, rather confused, bursts out:
L. I only want to see you better …
— WHEN THE TASK REQUIRES IT – YOU WILL SEE ME.
I obey.
L. I would also like to be able to obey.
Touching Lili’s forehead:
— There is too much here …
In the body, you are the last-born.
(Lili was the youngest child of a large family.)
— In spirit, you are the first of the new-born.
I now take leave of you.
I am absolutely delighted that Lili has found her inner guide, whose tender, radiant presence allows even me to completely relax.
In the days that follow, I am totally occupied with “not wanting” and “not wishing.”
Friday, July 16, 1943
4. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
It is Friday. My life has gone through a fundamental change: possibilities hitherto undreamed of have appeared and I am aware of so much that is new. Joyfully, I prepare myself for today’s dialogue. But then, after lunch, a cold fear suddenly seizes me, and I become haunted by the question: “What if my teacher does not come … does not appear anymore?” I desperately try to cast this thought away, but it returns again and again, ever stronger, fed by a fear of falling into the void of my previous empty life. Then, all of a sudden, I realize that it is wrong for me to bind myself, even to the very thing which means the most to me. This fearful clinging to my inner teacher will have to be sacrificed. It is an unavoidable challenge, and I know it is my task.
Inner detachment is more difficult than anything I have ever before experienced. It is as though I cut myself off from my own life. At three o’clock, Hanna calls me. I soon sense the presence of my guide, who, however, remains silent and, after a while, I am nervously uncertain about whether the silence is going to be broken. With a sigh of surrender, I say to myself: “Thy Will be done.” At this moment, I see [my eyes are open] a fire burning before me, its smoke rising straight up to heaven.
Then I hear the following words:
— The time has come. Now you may ask!
G. What is my path?
— Listen well:
AT ONE END, LOVE. AT THE OTHER END, LIGHT.
YOU ARE SUSPENDED BETWEEN THE TWO.
THAT IS YOUR PATH.
A hundred deaths are between the two.
Love is bearer of Light.
Love without Light is nothing.
Do you understand me?
I do understand, but it strikes me as very difficult to let my ‘little I’ die a hundred times. I sink my eyes, discouraged.
— Look at me!
The familiar face of Hanna, neither beautiful nor ugly, takes on another expression and reflects an almost frightening dignity.
— At one end … I.
Gesture from above to below:
— At the other end … it.
Between the two … you.
G. What is ‘it’?
— Your ‘little I.’
Disdainfully, I think: “What a self-centered creature, this ‘little I.’ ”
G. I know my ‘little I’ well, all too well, but you I do not know well enough!
— Foolish child!
I later come to understand these two words as meaning: ‘How could you possibly know your little I? You do not know even a single cell of your body! As little as you know me! How long will you continue to be so blind?’
— It and I are united in the task.
Do not divide what is one!
Before the Divine, nothing is small!
Do not judge!
G. Teach me, for I know nothing!
— Have I not taught you?
With false modesty, I say:
G. Oh, yes, I know that I ask silly questions.
Hanna perceives my teacher’s thoughts:
‘What a childish game!’ But she feels authorized only to say:
— You are foolish!… Ask!
I know that I have been seen through like glass,
and I stubbornly protest:
G. Why should I even ask, when you always know beforehand what I want to say … you see my thoughts!
— From the heart to the mouth is a handspan.
Make this your way! Do you wish to know much?
G. Only as much as my task requires.
— THOSE WHO ASK ARE MORE DEAR TO THE DIVINE THAN THOSE WHO KNOW.
Last night, I dreamed I saw a human figure in glowing colors, radiating harmony, strength and peace.
G. What does my dream mean?
— The new Individual formed from your image.
G. Will I become this individual when I shed what is superfluous?
— YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FORMS –
NOT THE FORMED.
G. What must I do to become the one who forms?
Now Hanna’s body seems to lose its usual qualities and transform into an instrument serving totally, with nothing held back: her movements are simple, meaningful and dignified. Even her arm seems different to me. It radiates concentrated force, the muscles tense, and I am strongly reminded of Michelangelo’s sculptures. An abrupt gesture strikes like lightning.
— BURN!
I am struck, jolted, filled with wonder. But all this vanishes instantly when I notice that Hanna is shivering. She bids me to bring her alcohol: just today, by ‘coincidence,’ I had bought a small bottle of pure alcohol. I drip some onto a sugar cube and give it to Hanna. Soon her strength returns and she reveals: “I had to concentrate all of my energy so that a burning force would ignite in you. Your detachment was the key. You had to sacrifice and to learn independence, even from your inner teacher.”
Friday, July 16, 1943
4. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
After a short rest, Hanna feels ready for the dialogue with Lili, who is wearing a blue skirt and a red blouse.
— You have dressed yourself upside-down.
L. What do you mean?
— Blue belongs above – red, below!
Red carries the blue.
This is also relevant for your work.
Lili immediately understands that the bodily ‘red’ should support the spiritual, the ‘blue.’ Then she reflects on her teaching of the previous week and its results.
— Pay no attention to results!
What ‘was’ … is no more.
What ‘is now’ is already the ‘it was.’
There you can no longer help.
May ‘the one who helps’ direct her attention
to where the ‘shall be’ is born.
It occupies little space, but from it,
everything can be formed.
Lili, who is physically fragile and often in poor health, has been ill.
— Are you tired?
L. No, I just don’t feel well.
— This we know.
If blue is above, it strengthens;
if red is below, it softens, it weakens.
In the same way,
the weak body is a burden when it dominates.
Red, Eros … is earthly love.
Blue is heavenly love.
Purple is His color.
The word ‘His’ vibrates with deep reverence. As a painter, I know that the combination of red and blue results in purple. I understand the word ‘His’ as referring to Jesus, who united earthly and heavenly love.
— You may ask another question!
L. Will I receive help with my work …
or will I have to do everything by myself?
— IF YOU BEGIN BY YOURSELF,
THEN YOU WILL RECEIVE HELP.
In the ensuing silence, I begin to wonder just what sort of evolutionary possibilities are open to us as humans, and immediately I receive a response to my silent question:
— I am speaking to you:
This is the direction of human evolution:
These words are accompanied by
an upward gesture at a 45° angle
to the right.
I am astonished to learn that human evolution is not only a matter of spiritual (vertical), nor only of material (horizontal) development, but of equal parts of both.
Friday, July 23, 1943
5. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
All week long, I have been thinking about ‘burning.’ On Friday morning, I decorate the little room that opens to the garden with flowers. As we sit waiting for the dialogue, Hanna feels luminous forces assembling in a semi-circle behind her.
— Speak!
G. Last week, you spoke of the ‘hundred deaths.’
I would like to ‘die’ now, to surpass my ‘little I’ …
— It is not a matter of surpassing,
but of becoming a bridge.
I am so overjoyed at the presence of my inner teacher that tears well up in my eyes.
— Do not flood the seed with water!
I understand that all my emotions have to be transformed into burning.
— THE DIVINE SPARK SPRINGS BETWEEN ACT AND MATTER.
I am aware that something extremely important has been revealed to me, but I have no idea what it means. In the silence that follows, Hanna continues to feel the presence of luminous beings. All eyes are focused on me.
— We are many and we expect much of you.
A sense of responsibility arises in me, and I offer all of my strength joyfully.
G. I would so much like to know my task now!
— Task is just a word to you.
G. Can you reveal the task to me?
— The one who speaks finds no words.
These words have not yet been born.
G. What could bring them to birth?
— Your deepest desire.
G. My desire to serve?
— Mighty and wondrous is your task.
The vibration of these words conveys to me a foretaste of a completely new life-intensity.
G. You said, “we are many.” Who are you all?
— THE CHORUS.
Behind the spoken words, I sense an infinite multitude in perfect harmony. I wonder: could my teacher be what we humans call an ‘angel’?
With lowered eyes and upward turned hands, the following words are gently spoken:
— We sing praise, we praise the Divine.
For the first time in my life, I feel what genuine adoration is, and I softly ask:
G. Do you always see Ö?
A swift motion stops me, as though I had touched something forbidden.
— You know not what you say. Ask another question!
G. How could I always hear the voice of my heart
without having my head interfere?
— Do you not feel the difference?
G. Yes, but everything moves so slowly,
and I want to serve now!
— You often lose your way.
Hanna senses a hesitation: before me lies a long and difficult path which gradually leads to awareness, to more consciousness. My angel sees a storm approaching, and sees that the heavy weight of my family and my lack of self-confidence might overwhelm me before my goal is reached. Time is short. Hanna pleads in her heart: “Please show her the short way! I will vouch for her!”
— Listen well! Your path is not difficult!
Be cheerful! Be light!
The one who speaks cannot express it clearly!
A vertical flamelike motion of remarkable lightness, and then a heavy, downward motion like flowing water.
— FIRE IS LIGHT – WATER IS HEAVY.
IF YOU FEEL HEAVINESS,
THEN YOU HAVE STRAYED FROM THE PATH.
After the dialogue, Hanna explains in detail what she had not been able to verbalize at the moment: “It is important for you to find a happiness you have never known before, a new smile: Lightness! If you feel weighed down, you are off the path. If you carry your burden lightly, then you are on the path. It all depends on you. You will be able to find this new smile only by living life to the fullest!”
— Ask!
G. Where are my limits?
— Limits are only here:
The hands form a cylinder, closed on the sides, open at the top. It seems to express that limits are necessary in matter, but that the way up is free.
G. Then I am you?
— (smile) Not yet. Enough for today!
By this time, Hanna is so tired that she immediately falls asleep. Lili was unable to be here today.
Friday, July 30, 1943
6. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
I have carefully prepared a long list of questions
for today’s session:
— I cannot stay for long today.
This opening of course disappoints me,
and I say very hesitatingly:
G. May I ask a question?
There is a silent nod.
G. Why were there so many of you last time?
— Because your task has grown.
G. What do you expect of me?
— When the seed sprouts, you will know.
I have worked hard on myself all week
and am eager to hear some praise.
G. Do I water the seed enough?
— You know that perfectly well yourself.
This dry reply makes the falsity of my attempt
to draw praise all the more obvious.
G. The dead of my family came to me in a dream.
Can I do something for them?
Am I neglecting them somehow?
— Many of the dead are weaklings …
G. How could I help them?
— By harvesting.
G. How can I harvest?
— Ö CREATED YOU AFTER MY IMAGE.
These words touch me deeply: I exist in the image of my angel!
G. Why do you have so little time today?
— So as to teach you measure.
I will answer one last question.
I hurriedly search through my papers for the most important question.
— I have time …
I relax, and now my question comes from the heart:
G. In what way do I least resemble your image?
Once I know, I will tear it out of myself!
— Uncertainty.
G. I do not understand.
— Do not waver.
I lower my eyes.
— Look at me!
Hanna’s facial expression transforms, seeming to take on the austere solemnity of an other-worldly dimension.
— I depart …
I continue to feel the silent presence of the angel for a few minutes more, and in this stillness, the deep longing awakens in me to become identical with my inner teacher’s image.
Friday, July 30, 1943
6. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
L. Thank you for coming again!
— Thank Ö, who sent me!
L. Why is it so difficult for me to free myself
from my ‘little I’?
— WHEN YOU TASTE THE BETTER –
YOU LEAVE WHAT IS LESS GOOD.
With unquenchable thirst,
you will search for the better.
L. Why am I so unsure of myself that I don’t even know what I need?
— Freshen up your palate, for you have spoiled it
with so much worthless food.
This appears to refer to Lili’s having studied a wide variety of educational methods of body movement in past years at foreign schools.
L. Why do I progress so pitifully slowly,
and why do I so often lose my head?
— They are directly related:
one is the consequence of the other. Do not rush!
I am protecting you.
Gentle, protective gesture around Lili.
L. I don’t even know what to call my work,
what kind of a name to give it.
— A name is already a conclusion.
But at this point, you are still at the beginning!
The numbers of young students who participate in Lili’s courses are swelling by the day. As political uncertainty and mistrust spread and decimate morale everywhere, the task of teaching relaxation becomes ever more vital – and more difficult!
L. My work seems to be lacking something basic …
What is it?
— BELIEF IN Ö … IN ME … AND IN YOURSELF.
Listen carefully! In preparation for our next meeting, try to formulate the essence of your work.
L. Thank you!
Friday, August 6, 1943
7. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
As a result of last week’s lesson in ‘measure,’ I decide to ask very few questions today.
— Ask!
G. I don’t see things clearly, my heart is weak and hesitant. How could I see you more clearly, how could I better feel your presence? I would like to form myself after your image.
— The creature perceives the lack;
yet the Divine, the only Reality, can be but intuited.
May your intuition guide you!
G. How could I carve your words into myself?
I always fear that they will fade …
— FEAR IS THE REFUGE OF THE WEAK.
There is no question of my wanting to belong to the weak! Thus, I am quick to protest:
G. I am not that afraid!
— (with severity:) You are that afraid.
G. Then I will work to free myself from it.
— Do not work – believe!
Believe, and then there is nothing to be afraid of.
I feel this belief to be not religious confession, but a living, transforming force.
— Listen well!
The measure of suffering is unknown to you.
Ever since childhood, I have avoided suffering whenever possible by lying. But when I do suffer, then I torture myself mercilessly with self-reproaches.
— WELCOME SUFFERING AS A MESSENGER
FROM HEAVEN.
BUT LET IT DEPART WHEN IT IS READY TO LEAVE.
G. How can I welcome suffering and still be joyful?
— (smiling) By following the good path: your own path.
I have more questions, but, recalling the lesson of measure, I remain silent.
— I speak: We are not disappointed in you.
In the word, ‘we,’ echoes once more the perfect harmony of a multitude: the Chorus. Hanna later tells me: “Your teacher was pleased that you exercised measure. And your unanswered questions will be answered: Imagine a white sheet of paper. The answers will appear on it. They will be ignited by the intensity of your questions.”
Friday, August 6, 1943
7. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
L. I thank God that you were allowed to come again…
An atmosphere of deep reverence follows the word, ‘God.’
… and I am grateful for all that I received this week in Budapest.
Lili had felt unexpected help.
L. I have not thanked with prayer for all this …
— YOUR WORK IS YOUR PRAYER.
PRAYER IS WINGS FOR THE WINGLESS.
Your wings are already growing.
L. Will you tell me what my weakest part is?
I would like to improve it.
— No. For the time being, simply rejoice!
Lili has suffered from an extremely unhappy childhood and joy has been her greatest lack.
L. I was happier this week than ever before in my life.
— I was happy, too, my little servant.
Lili has been trying to define her professional work.
L. I was unable to complete my task …
— It will never be completed …
L. I wanted so much to bring something whole, something well-rounded.
— Roundness belongs to the infinite:
Gesture forming a spiral.
L. I feel that I have so much to do!
— Much is illusion. If you feel it to be much,
then you are in error. There is not much,
but just one thing to be done.
Gesture of offering upwards.
— May heaven bless you.
There are moments during the dialogues when I am afraid that I will not be able to write down everything that is said. But then Lili’s teacher waits until I have caught up before proceeding to the next topic. This occurs several times, which seems to indicate that our note-taking is desired.
Friday, August 13, 1943
8. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
Before the dialogues began, we all occasionally had impressive dreams, and to distinguish these from ‘ordinary’ ones, we referred to them as ‘teaching dreams.’ Each of them had a powerful effect on all of us. We would often discuss them at the breakfast table and try to unveil their hidden meaning together. Hanna’s dreams, in particular, were often concerned with universal themes, as I became more and more aware with the passage of time.
— It is time to ask!
G. Last night, I know that I dreamed of a new Host,
but I do not understand the meaning of the dream.
— The Host is an image of creation.
G. Matter appeared to be very important in the dream,
but that, too, is unclear to me.
— Listen carefully! Human sin – Adam’s sin –
caused matter to be cursed.
When the curse ends, matter will again be sacred.
MATTER IS THE CHILD OF GOD.
G. How might I strengthen my belief in such a way that it would lift me above duality?
— It is not your belief that is weak, but your vision.
G. I do not understand.
— You look – but you do not shine.
Your eyes are not made for looking.
G. Do I look to the outside too much?
— No. Look in a completely different way: transform!
There is lightning – fast flick of the hand, conveying a sense of immediate and total change.
G. My love often fails … and it is so difficult with my family.
Raising the left hand:
— THE CREATURE YEARNS FOR LOVE.
Raising the right hand:
THE CREATOR LOVES.
The two are not balanced in you.
And this will continue to be so for a long time to come.
G. Last week, I expected your answer to appear on a white sheet, as you had said. But it came in another form.
— (smiling) Your mistake was that you paid attention only to the form.
G. That is true, but you answered me just the same.
— THE TRUE QUESTION
BRINGS FORTH ITS OWN ANSWER.
Hanna later warns me: “Don’t ever – even for a moment! – depend on the strength of your angel! Only your fire calls forth the answer.”
After a silence:
G. Even now, I have tears of emotion in my eyes,
though I am well aware that you do not like
sentimental feelings …
— Such feelings separate you from me.
I cannot descend to that level.
True feeling is different, as I will soon show you …
Let us pray …
We all remain in silent prayer.
My heart lifts, and I am filled with a deep peace.
— This is true feeling.
May you be blessed!
Friday, August 13, 1943
8. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
L. I thank God that you have come again!
— I am listening to you.
L. Is it all right to completely let myself go when I am alone?
— Only upward.
L. Why am I so often in despair, and torn in half?
— You are not always united with your other half.
But you are not far from being ONE.
You are making progress.
L. Would it be right for me to teach small children?
— You are a child yourself. What is the problem?
L. I do not have enough contact with children.
— The separating veil is: what is known.
Believe me,
there is no difference between adults and children.
L. Why is it that I am so seldom able to be a child?
— KNOW THE DIVINE
AND YOU WILL AGAIN BECOME A SMALL CHILD!
L. I still try too hard to find the Divine.
— IT IS Ö WHO SEEKS YOU.
LET YOURSELF BE FOUND!
L. That is very difficult.
— That is your task. Help others to learn it too!
L. I would like to always feel as happy and fulfilled as I do now, but often, I just feel ‘flat.’
Why does this happen to me?
— Because the sprout is still small.
Speak!
L. I am afraid to go back into the city …
Lili spends only the weekends in Budaliget. The dark political atmosphere in Budapest creates an unsettling pall that affects all of its inhabitants.
— What are you afraid of?
L. That the city will drag me down, because I am not yet strong enough.
— Fear not – I am helping you. We will be together.
The city has become an empty sea-shell …
inside, it no longer exists.
It is a petrified curse.
Even its dust is cursed, for nothing grows in it.
But in you, the sprout grows.
Take good care of it!
Raise your heart!
For the first time in her life, Lili feels the force of true prayer. She bursts into tears.
— See how near Ö is! If you raise yourself up
into the infinite, we can always be together.
Friday, August 20, 1943
9. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
Last night, I had a dream: I am standing on a seemingly endless plain. Suddenly, a white horse of tremendous strength and beauty appears. At the same time, a spiral-shaped pathway winds up into the heights. I feel that the white horse would be able to carry me into these heights.
— I am ready.
G. What does the white horse mean?
— Become able to ride it!
G. How ?
— By becoming lighter than the horse.
G. What is it in me that is so heavy?
During the dialogues, Hanna’s language is of exceptional beauty and simplicity, close to the very roots of Hungarian. However, in this case, she finds only a trivial slang expression for what is to be communicated, and my angel is reluctant to accept this:
— Don’t let yourself ‘be done in’ by the deceiver!
I recall that I was very judgmental the day before.
G. Oh, do you mean yesterday? Yes, I fell right into the trap. How could I avoid that in the future?
— Be more aware!
Ask!
G. How might my pictures radiate the new Light and awaken desire for it in everyone who sees them?
— The Light shines through you.
I will tell you something.
LIGHT is the same as light.
They sound the same, but the weight of the sound
– the resonance – is different.
G. Should I take up painting?
— You will surely succeed at it.
Each of your pictures is a step upward.
Begin at the bottom. Don’t fly!
You have wings, but many others do not.
Do you understand now?
G. Oh, yes – now I do!
I am happy, and Hanna feels my angel rejoice.
— We can already talk together. Ask!
G. How can everything I do become an offering?
— Every act that is not for yourself is an offering.
G. How might I free myself from my ‘little I’ ?
I despise it!
— By not despising it!
G. I do not mean my body …
— I know perfectly well what you mean.
It is clear:
you despise it because you are afraid of it.
It teaches you in the same way as I do.
LEARN TO LOVE THE CURSED,
AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE.
G. What is the quickest way to find my place?
— BY NOT HURRYING …
The one who hurries, hurries only towards death.
Pointing in the direction of the garden, where Joseph is reading.
— He tarries …
G. Who?
— The son. I cannot name names.
I realize that our ‘given’ name is not the true one – that which expresses our deepest, inner nature.
— IN HASTE, YOU APPROACH DEATH FROM THE FORE.
IN LINGERING,
YOU APPROACH DEATH FROM THE REAR.
IN ACTING AT THE RIGHT INSTANT,
YOU KNOW NO DEATH.
Hanna sees an image of what has been said: life itself as a vertically vibrating line, fine as the finest edge of a sharpened sword blade.
By acting in the right instant, we are this line – in the ‘here and now’ – and alive.
If we rush, we are in the future: death from the fore. If we linger, we are in the past: death from the rear. Acting at the right instant is being in touch with eternity.
— Enough for today.
You will be able to create.
The hands hover over mine,
and I feel a force pass through them.
Friday, August 20, 1943
9. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
L. May I ask?
Affirmative gesture.
L. I don’t understand the lesson I received last week in Budapest.
Lili had tried to sense in which of her students the new seed might sprout.
— DO NOT JUDGE!
Ö is the driving force.
If a seed is there, it will sprout.
Do not try to find where it is …
Your judgment is not necessary.
L. Thank you! And thank you for last night’s dream.
— Being awake is more important
than dreaming dreams.
L. I would like so much to be awake …
— YOU ARE DREAMED.
L. What does that mean?
— DREAMS ARE IMAGES – YOU, TOO, ARE AN IMAGE.
BUT SOON THE DIVINE WILL AWAKEN IN YOU.
L. How can I help the members of my family?
— You have a big family. Ö helps through you.
Have faith!
L. Why do I have pains in my back and neck every morning?
An undesired, youngest child, Lili has been oppressed by her family since birth. Now the angel makes her aware of her ‘real’ family: all of humanity.
— You were obliged to bow before the unworthy.
If you bow before Ö – Who alone is worthy –
you will be made straight again.
L. Does every physical illness have a psychological cause?
— A tree bears fruit. A good tree bears good fruit.
Matter is neither good nor bad,
for it is essentially inert.
THE PAIN IN YOUR BACK
DOES NOT HAVE ITS ORIGIN IN YOUR BACK.
Now it is my turn to ask a question:
What have you been happy about lately?
L. My dream, my good day in the city and, most of all:
you.
— ONLY IN JOY AM I PRESENT.
May you be blessed by Heaven!
Friday, August 27, 1943
10. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
At last, a week of joyful anticipation!
— Let us give thanks!
With a radiant smile:
— Today it is good to be here.
Hanna later tells me that, during the first dialogues, she had often felt how difficult it was for my teacher to descend and be in our dense atmosphere. Now my joy makes it much easier. Pointing to the glass of water:
— Water brings me closer to you.
What water does for me … fire does for you.
I understand that the more I burn in joy, the nearer I come to my angel … but the angel’s fire must correspondingly be diminished with water, that I might support it.
— How can I help you?
G. When I touch someone I love, I often feel a force streaming through my hands, but not through my eyes. Why is that so?
— I will explain it to you:
You strive from below to above.
The hands form a cone:
This is how you are formed:
strong below …
ever more slender toward the top.
Matter is inert.
It is your task to raise it up.
Indicating the eyes:
— Matter and spirit meet here.
Matter needs to be raised to this level,
for here it ignites and radiates out through the eyes.
Indicating the throat:
— But here you block the rising force with emotions,
it becomes water and flows back.
From the throat to the eyes,
matter becomes ever more subtle, but still it is matter.
Keep the way pure!
(Silence)
G. I am not yet able to act at the proper moment …
— What needs to be done has a voice,
and you have ears to hear it. Close your eyes!
I obey, and feel a force streaming into my ears.
— From now on, you will hear better. Ask!
G. I suffer from not being able to love enough …
— Do you know why?
G. It might be because I was unable to paint …
— You were unable to paint
because you were unable to love.
EVERY TRUE ACT SPRINGS FROM LOVE.
Take heed! ‘The nameless one’ led you astray.
I am immediately aware of what this refers to: yesterday, two young students had made the long way from Budapest to Budaliget and unexpectedly appeared at our doorstep. I had been on the verge of leaving – to ‘sing for my angel in the forest’ – in preparation for the next dialogue. After hesitating briefly, I left it to Hanna to deal with the young visitors and went on my way. As might be expected, however, I was unable to sing. Everything seemed meaningless, and a feeling of utter emptiness made any contact with my angel impossible.
— ‘The nameless one’ can assume even my form in order to lead you astray.
It now becomes perfectly obvious to me that I behaved unfeelingly in this situation. I am gripped by a fear of not being able to feel the difference between my true, inner teacher and some false one.
— You can recognize ‘the nameless one’ in your heart,
for its name is ‘emptiness.’
G. I know that emptiness and meaninglessness are traps, but still I fall into them.
— In the moment that you know it, it is already too late.
You go too far: you fail to stop when you should.
I then realize that, because my attention is usually directed to the outside, I tend not to notice that ‘the nameless one’ has slipped into me until it becomes obvious in my outer behavior. Were I to direct my attention inward, however, I could then detect the danger in advance … and thus become able to defend myself.
— Ask.
G. Why do I have such a burning sensation in my eyes?
— Because you weep.
Everything that lives needs water in order to burn.
Your burning has begun … yet still you weep …
and so you have a shortage of water.
G. What is the difference between true and false feelings?
— True feeling is inwardly ‘immobile.’
But you love first this … then that …
Gesture indicating the motion of waves:
— Water moves, in waves.
TRUE FEELING IS MOTIONLESS,
LOVES EVERYTHING … AND SHINES.
Your sign is the SUN.
The sun is motionless and shines everywhere.
This is not the sun you see with your eyes;
that, too, is but an image.
Speak!
G. For a moment, I felt my task very clearly,
but then everything became blurred again.
— THIS MOMENT LASTS AN ETERNITY;
IT NEVER BEGAN, AND IT CAN NEVER END.
ONLY YOU WAVER.
Give your best effort!
I always take your image with me
and present it to the chorus.
Hanna sees a transparent image of me, which my angel superimposes upon earlier, transparent images. Thus, any changes I go through from week to week become clearly visible. The images of me are placed in the center of a large cone, formed by the chorus of angels. All eyes are now focused upon the images, with neither judgment nor criticism, but a SIGHT that is all-penetrating.
From above – from the focal point of the cone – shines the Gaze of the Divine.
— May Heaven bless you!
The next day, Hanna explains to me that my feelings themselves are, of course, vital; nevertheless, I know that I need to find a new or different attitude towards them. If rising feelings are repressed prematurely, they become stuck in the throat and are choked off. If they are allowed to rise freely, all the way to the eyes, their initial strength becomes diluted into tears. But if feelings are offered to the Divine just as they reach the level of the throat, then their force becomes transformed into Light, which rises up and shines out through the eyes.
Friday, September 3, 1943
11. DIALOGUE WITH GITTA
It has been a very difficult week and I am feeling quite discouraged. We sit waiting for a long, long time, and Hanna senses that my teacher is having a hard time trying to reach me today.
— Speak!
G. I thank God that you could come.
Please teach me true prayer, so that my feelings might rise above the level of water.
— Its name is: offering. I will explain a great rule to you:
EACH TINY CELL PRAYS,
AND THE PRAYER OF ALL CELLS TOGETHER
IS TRUE FEELING.
Do you understand this?
G. Not completely …
— For you, raising yourself is difficult –
For me, lowering myself is difficult.
G. (in despair:) It should not be difficult for you!
I want so much to do … to make it easier for you!
— Do not attempt much! Your task is the ‘less.’
The less is difficult!
See the difference between much and less!
Much is watery, diluted.
Gesture flowing downward:
— Much of the population is diluted.
Less is nearer to the Divine.
And the Divine is ONE.
This lesson seems to concern the opposition between dilution in the ‘much’ and concentration in the ‘less’ – as with the cone, which is broad at the base and narrow at the top.
Long silence.
— Lift up your heart. Today it is not easy to be here.
G. This week I was able to love a bit more, but it is still far from what I am longing for.
— The moon is bright only when the sun shines on it.
But you are not a moon.
Do not wait until it is required of you to shine!
YOUR MOONS ARE DARK.
With my inner eye, I see a sun that devours its own rays. The utter horror of this image is unbearable.
G. How terrible!
Hanna often suffers from stabbing heart-pains without any apparent organic cause. I am upset
that she is not able to ask questions herself.
G. What can I do about the pains of my friend …
A forbidding gesture interrupts me:
— Are you still without faith?!
The two of you are united in the task.
Individuals, fates, destinies, events … are no more than froth on the waves of the sea.
What I have heard leaves me stunned,
and I remain silent.
— You have two questions left.
G. The sun is my sign.
I understand this, but I do not yet live it.
— You also hear my words only with your ears.
G. Why was I unable ‘to sing for you’ yesterday?
— Because I was far away from you.
G. Was that my fault?
— It was a trial, not a punishment.
I was there, where we one day will be united.
The distance indicates the size of your task.
Nothing is concealed. We see everything!
Honor the Divine Law in even the smallest thing!
Realizing the enormity of my task,
I am discouraged.
— Rejoice! You have every reason!
It is all a trial.
Let me console you: you are beginning to take form.
I will always be with you.
Friday, September 3, 1943
11. DIALOGUE WITH LILI
Lili, who was unable to attend last week’s dialogue, has been having a very problematic time, and she feels depressed.
— Lay down your burden!
L. I do not understand.
— Has this week been heavy?
L. Very heavy …
— Anything that weighs heavily is a burden.
L. Why did I fall so terribly deep?
— The one who helps descends into the depths.
I GIVE YOU THE KEY TO THE DEPTHS.
ITS NAME IS: THE TASK.
You are chosen.
You can descend at any time;
you can ascend at any time.
This depends on you alone.
Are you aware of this?
L. Yes, I am, and I thank God for this grace.
An intense silence filled with prayer follows.
With amazement, I discover the power of the word.
Lili pronounced the word, ‘God,’ and immediately her angel was filled with a deep adoration; Lili then quite naturally followed.
— It is I who transmit each of your thoughts,
each of your prayers, each of your acts.
Never forget this!
In each of your acts, I am always at hand.
IN EACH OF YOUR ACTS,
YOU ACT IN MY PLACE.
TAKE HEED! DO NOT DISFIGURE ME!
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