Back and forth lifestyle between the DC suburbs and the Amazon has taught me PLENTY. Purged me PLENTY. Stretched me...PLENTY. Above all, it taught me some things I don't think I would ever have been able to learn (in this form) without this particular experience. The art of the application and management.I remember when I first came into ceremony and finally understood how knowledge can move from a understanding on the mental level (sure, of course I know what Laws of Attraction are!) to the experiential level, for us occurring in ceremony (oh my GOD! NOW I get it! WOW! I totally thought I understood this before.) Then to the application level. Imagine - running strong and clear on Life Purpose, and exactly what steps to take. You know consciously that you may walk back into a cloud of naysayers and fear-based doubters. You swear you will hold to your integrity and truth. I WILL manifest this center! Or whatever your goal is.You get back strong. Start to tell people your idea, timidly at first. Some respond well, some don't. Time passes. I'll just shelf this idea for awhile until I get settled. Now you're settled. Still nagging. Once I get this other thing paid off. Once this, once that. Your dream has officially been swallowed by the Matrix.For a generation of children who have been raised to "be whatever they want to be" when we grow up, we sure have a hard spot in the consciousness to actually achieving it. As soon as someone wants to take a risk, it often triggers up other people's fears, resentments that they didn't do it, whatever. And of course, because they care about you, they will speak their concern. The intention is good, it's just fear-based. And people approach fear differently. Personally I don't trust fear for shit. I have intuition to guide me out of a bad situation.
Of course this doesn't happen all the time. Some people come into the Medicine for one group, ready to make a change, and damn if they don't. Turning-pointers. Off and running with nothing stopping them. Some aren't open enough to apply what they're learning while in Peru, so not too much of a chance of application at home (unless they open up later and allow the wisdom to seep up from under the ego.) Most people are somewhere in the middle. Certain epiphanies you can't erase, and one clarity may instantaneously change the structure of your understanding. Plus, we are purging. You leave Peru with less energetic crap than you came with. However, the amount of energetic crap in a typical Westerner is absolutely astounding. I don't care how many times you've Master Cleansed, Colon Cleansed, or Juice Cleansed, there is almost always more, unless your like a Buddha or something. Of course, the ego must be willing to see it for it to work (free will wins.)So where does it go? The clarity? The way I "see" it energetically/ceremonially, is the consciousness looks like a big, thick, dark gray layer of cement (with some moss and mold and stuff on it.) Again, just because that's the visual I receive doesn't mean it is that way, people see it differently. The inner work we do chips, cracks and softens the layer of cement, though I won't lie, it seems to take a hell of a lot of work to even get down there. Most of the time we get stuck in the "fumes" and emotional-energetic build-ups that seep up from the consciousness, and just those bubbles can blast us like a hurricane. Each step along the way down into the depths, we have to keep developing new levels of skills and strength in order to handle the next level. If one burst of someone else's ego is gonna launch our insides into a ego trigger-fest, spewing off defensive insecure bullshit at the first sign of danger - we're like little kids throwing a tantrum - not ready. Management of those bubbles and bursts - the art of allowing them out safely (stuffing is counter-intuitive) while not spewing them all over some poor suspecting victim (whether it be your loved one or the bitchy customer service rep, neither one deserve your own anger burst. It's YOURS not theirs.) Of course, we're human, so obviously there will be times when we lose the battle (sorry you know who you are!!!)
One way to train on management is what I call "hypertriggers." The people in your world that just their presence irritates you. They may be a co-worker, a friend of a friend always tagging along, whoever. But the hypertrigger, for whatever reason, pulls up more ego and judgment than most of us like to admit we have. Can you honestly look at your hypertrigger and claim you're not judging them at all?Practicing navigating through a hypertrigger is a way of "extreme training". Get it where it's the hardest, the easier ones are cake. Aya loves extreme training (or maybe I just do, which is why I get it so much lol!) Ego triggers ego, heart triggers heart. I believe there is good in everybody, and if you can communicate from a heart space vs. an ego-space, the person's heart (hopefully) will open right up. Being active to work through the ego/hypertrigger, and consciously making a choice to FIND THE GOOD in that person, no matter how much that pin they wear pisses you off - that's application. The Medicine may show you something like "hey look, your ego is bigger than you thought. You're only job is to love them" (true examples for me!) How to apply that? Where it's the hardest! That's the opportunity.
We are spirits having a physical experience. We can't compartmentalize our "spiritual experiences" and limit them to meditation, church or ceremony. Life is it! THIS is the training ground. We're on Earth for a reason, in my view, so we can have a PHYSICAL experience of the energies in spirit form. We need feeling receptors to do that. It's great to know that we are all one. Or that time isn't linear. Awesome. My brain can actually wrap itself around that, maybe, 5%. The application and experience is where the real understanding comes. I could read wisdom out of a book. But can I speak from experience? Got to get my ass off the couch and be active in my growth. The Universe, God, Medicine, Angels, whoever...anyone who sets an intention to learn, purge, heal, stretch, and serve - that's all it takes. The intention, then attention. PAYING attention. This is the biggest trick of the Matrix...forgetting.
There is only a very small space in the sum-total collective Western consciousness for the level of wisdom the Medicine holds. I would imagine the same problem occurs in other high level paths as well. You must strengthen up enough mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually to be able to hold that space larger than it's default Matrix size. Otherwise, it disappears under a blanket for awhile, until you remember it/open back up to it. I've noticed a tremendous difference in this arena from when I first started the back and forth until now. And the areas that disappear now are simply weak spots in myself I'm still working on, but at least I can see what's in queue.Tips and tools (for in and out of ceremony):WRITE SHIT DOWN: Duh. If it's an important enough bit of wisdom, put it in a card on your mirror until it's totally integrated into your body. Move it from short-term to long-term, then straight down to the core through experience and application.
TALK WITH OTHER MEDICINE PEOPLE: Just like ego triggers ego and heart opens heart, Medicine calls up itself as well. By staying in contact with others in the Medicine, talking about the Medicine, reading or watching movies or Medicine art, you call it up within yourself (obviously you could just call it anyway, but we're assuming you forgot.) Reach out - you'd be amazed how many times I haven't said hardly anything on the phone with someone and they just become clear. I have a lot of Medicine in my body at this point, and if they are new, theirs' is still smaller. Mine will activate theirs, even on the phone, and when it pulls up, it's like their eyes open. The more time in the Medicine, the stronger the spirits are in the body, and the easier everything seems to get (at least for me - but still quite stimulating and challenging of course!)
PHYSICAL MANAGEMENT TOOLS: Remember how it feels the next morning after ceremony, when all that purged energetic residue is weighing down your body and skin - and you drag your ass up at 6am to jump into the freezing river? The exhilaration and freedom that comes with those energies being cleaned off? WATER is STILL nature's perfect energetic cleanser (cool, not hot.) Just because you can see it in ceremony and not during the day doesn't mean anything besides your eyes are more closed. When you feel emotions and energies going wacky, take a breath (another thing not to forget!) and put some cold water on your face, and ideally your forehead, crown chakra, neck, chest and arms. This is also helpful when people do energy work and think they picked up something from someone else. Also, as much as it gets judged, many of ya'll have seen the power of the tobacco spirit. Blow smoke over your heart chakra, arms, and cup some over your head. You don't have to inhale, especially if you're an ex-smoker and it's too close for comfort, but there is a medicinal use there. If it's really too much, try Sage or Palo Santo.
TALK WITH THE MEDICINE: Another duh. Converse with her before bed. Ask her to teach you/purge you in the dream world if you like (but then be ready!) The relationship with the Medicine is exactly that - a relationship. These are real spirits we're talking about, not just physical plants. Nurture and cultivate the Medicine living inside of you, and you'll be amazed at the kind of guidance you receive!Which brings me to my last point, which is applied to any spiritual work (Medicine or non): WHEN YOU ASK FOR SOMETHING or SET THE INTENTION, REMEMBER WHAT YOU ASKED FOR!This is the most common "matrix-out" I see. For example, Suzy sets the intention that she wants to come into her true strong feminine self, and be free to live and love as she chooses. Great.Three weeks later Joe shows up. She falls like a schoolgirl. He represents the old pattern she swore she had broken, yet she can't stop. He's one foot in, one foot out. Not malicious at all, but not sure how he feels. She finds herself in teenage-energetic-hell, mind spinning like a hormonal adolescent.Did she take a step backwards? Fall off track?HELL NO. Welcome to life at Accelerated Medicine Pace. You can tone it down if you like, but if you can handle it, it's quite efficient.
How ELSE is Suzy going to go into her old core beliefs and actively/intentionally purge (usually emotional purges, like crying or anger) and restructure them, in ORDER to become her empowered woman self and be free to love? She's walking around with blockers Well, in order to manifest the intention, they've got to go. Suzy is now in Purgeland - where no one can see straight and it's emotional chaos. I highly recommend you tie a rope around someone you trust so they can remind you throughout that you are, in fact, purging. What was the intention again?You really almost need a "sitter" or someone during these intentional accelerated purges. But again, we're in physical world. Reading about how to restructure my consciousness isn't the same as walking into the fire and restructuring it. How do you know? Proof is in the pudding. If you see movement, you're moving. If you don't, you're spinning. Try to tap back into the energy of six months ago - hopefully you can feel the difference.Application and management is the other half of ceremony. You can't have one side of the coin without the other, at least if you want it to be worth anything. Wisdom on paper sounds smart and may feed the ego a bit, but the liberation is in the application. And REACH OUT FOR HELP. Email me, even a quick line of contact is helpful, I can at least send you some Medicine in your dreams. And be gentle on yourself - remember the 'no beat yourself up rule' - you wouldn't punch me in the face while I'm trying to heal a scar, would you? Don't do it to yourself.
Wow I really didn't expect this to be so 'second person'. Hmm. Well we'll go with it. Just writing practice for me anyway. I'm open to feedback! Much love everyone!!!
Ayahuasca Meghan "SOUL CREATIVE". Dedicated to creative writing, photography and arts from the innerworld dreamscape of Meghan Shannon. This is the sister blog of her Ayahuasca Shamanic Apprenticeship Journal from the Amazon Rainforest (www.ayahuascameghan.blogspot.com) which is a more directly expressive "journal" form of her personal journey. http://www.ayahuascameghan-soulcreative.blogspot.com/
Links Dear to My Heart Infinite Light Peru (our center for Medicine work) Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Developement (Iyanla Vanzant's Program, Meghan's alma mater) Shamanic Healing Institute (Savage, MD) Meghan's alma mater Takoma Chapel (Silver Spring, MD - Open Spirituality) Natural Horizons Wellness Center (Fairfax, VA) Spiritual Nutrition and Coaching with Rheta Kwan Astrology Readings with David Kleber Psychic Healing with Angel Lightfeather (Sedona, AZ) Obsidian Institute for Financial Literacy Reiki Center of Greater Washington Links Dear to My Heart Infinite Light Peru (our center for Medicine work) Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Developement (Iyanla Vanzant's Program, Meghan's alma mater) Shamanic Healing Institute (Savage, MD) Meghan's alma mater Takoma Chapel (Silver Spring, MD - Open Spirituality) Natural Horizons Wellness Center (Fairfax, VA) Spiritual Nutrition and Coaching with Rheta Kwan Astrology Readings with David Kleber Psychic Healing with Angel Lightfeather (Sedona, AZ) Obsidian Institute for Financial Literacy Reiki Center of Greater Washington